Making Friends as an Adult: A Guide for 2025

Are you looking to make new friends in 2025? 

Friendships are one of the most enriching parts of life. They offer us joy, refuge, care, support, connection, and understanding. Life truly would not be the same without friendships. The tricky part is making friends. 

For many women, making friends as an adult feels overwhelming, or maybe even impossible. We’re all dealing with demanding jobs, caregiving responsibilities, and navigating a world that often feels chaotic, so finding the time and energy for developing new friendships or maintaining old ones can feel like another item on an already overflowing to-do list. Important relationships, like friendship, take work, and meaningful relationships are worth the effort. 

If you’re longing for closer friendships or struggling with making friends, you’re not alone. It’s often a vulnerable process, but it is possible to develop connections that feel fulfilling and joyful.

Why we need friendships

As humans, we’re designed to be social and build connections with others. It’s an essential part of our makeup - we require relationships with others for our mental health and well-being. Studies consistently show that having close friends can reduce stress, improve mood, and even contribute to better physical health. 

For women, in particular, friendships often provide a unique form of emotional intimacy and support that may not be found elsewhere. There’s nothing like spending time with someone who just gets it, and where you can simply be yourself. A close friend can be someone to lean on in tough times, celebrate with during successes, or simply share laughter and companionship when the world feels out of control. Our friends often become our chosen families, and our support networks would not be the same without them. 

Despite the importance of friendships, women are often put in positions that make it hard to prioritize them. Emotional labor—the invisible work of managing feelings, mediating conflicts, and tending to others—is frequently expected of women both at work and at home. This can leave little bandwidth for nurturing their own needs, including friendships. Many women also experience guilt for prioritizing their personal lives over professional or family obligations, making the pursuit of new friendships feel like a luxury rather than the necessity that it is. 

Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult?

Making friends as an adult isn’t always easy, the way it was when you were a kid. When you were younger, you likely had built-in opportunities to form connections through school, extracurriculars, or community activities. As an adult, those automatic social structures often disappear. If you want to find people, you have to find ways to seek them out, which can be overwhelming. It’s scary to put yourself out there and be vulnerable enough to make a new friendship, even when it’s something you want to do. 

You may feel awkward initiating conversations or fear rejection, especially if you’ve experienced hurt or betrayal in past friendships. Making friends isn’t the whole story, either - once you have friendships, you have to maintain them, and maintaining relationships takes effort. Maintaining friendships as an adult is harder than ever due to busy schedules with work and family, particularly for long distance friendships. 

All of these factors can create a sense of isolation that’s hard to break out of—but it’s not insurmountable. Be kind to yourself and validate that this process feels weird and emotionally activating. Pat yourself on the back for stepping outside of your comfort zone and going after what you want. 

Making friends as an adult may require some creativity, but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Here are some ways to approach it with ease and fun:

Explore shared interests

One of the simplest ways to connect with new people is through shared activities or interests. Look for local classes, workshops, or meetups that align with your hobbies or interests. Whether it’s a book club, yoga class, gardening group, or volunteer opportunity, engaging in activities you already enjoy can help you meet like-minded people who already care about the things you care about. Having something in common gives you a great jumping off point to get to know folks better. 

Make technology work for you

Technology is a powerful tool for building connections, and we have options at the push of a button. Apps like Bumble BFF, Meetup, and local community platforms can help you find people with similar interests or in similar life stages. Social media groups, like those on Facebook or Reddit, can also be great places to connect with others who share your passions or live in your area. Online meetups are also a great way to be accessible to folks who can’t make it to in person activities!

Reconnect with old friends

Sometimes the best way to build new connections is to rekindle old ones. Do you have any old friends who you’d like to rebuild your connection with? Sometimes friends drift apart just by nature of growing up and moving down different paths, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t ever be close again. Try reaching out to former friends or acquaintances with whom you’ve lost touch to see where they stand. A simple message or invitation for coffee can reignite a meaningful connection.

Be honest about your goals

If you’re looking for new friends, tell people that! Being honest and authentic will be relatable to people - after all, you’re not the only person looking to make friends as an adult! Talking about what you want isn’t shameful.  Be honest about the kind of connection you’re looking for and open about your interests and values. This vulnerability can help create deeper, more genuine relationships that have a solid foundation of trust. 

Don’t be mean to yourself

If making friends as an adult feels hard, remember that it’s not a reflection of your worth or likability. It’s simply a challenging aspect of modern life that many of us struggle with. Be gentle and kind with yourself and recognize that building meaningful relationships takes time and effort. Even small steps, like joining a group or sending a friendly message, can lead to rewarding connections little by little. 

Work with a mental health professional

If you’re finding it difficult to build or maintain friendships, therapy can be a valuable resource. A therapist can help you identify patterns in your relationships, explore barriers to connection, and develop skills to improve your social interactions so you can build the relationships you deserve. Therapy can also provide a safe space to process feelings of loneliness or rejection and build confidence in forming new relationships.

Once you’ve started to form connections, the next step is nurturing those relationships. Here are some tips for deepening new friendships:

Check in regularly: Set aside time to connect with your friends, whether through a weekly phone call, monthly coffee date, or a shared activity. If you have a hard time remembering things like checking in with friends, add a reminder in your phone or on your to-do list, so you have a prompt every day to reach out to someone. 

Show them you care by listening: Show genuine interest in your new friends’ lives by asking questions and being present during conversations. Don’t think about what you’re going to say next, slow down and listen to what they’re saying to understand it. Everyone likes to be listened to, and it can help grow a sense of connection between you. 

Be consistent: Friendships thrive on reliability and trust. Following through on plans and showing up for your friends builds a strong foundation.

Have fun together: Don’t forget that friendships are supposed to be a source of fun! Make an effort to celebrate your friends’ milestones and achievements, no matter how small. These moments of joy can strengthen your bond.

Making friends as an adult is hard, but it can make a real difference in your overall well-being. If you’re looking for more support as you navigate new relationships, working with one of our therapists can help. Reach out to our office today for more information or to schedule an appointment with one of our clinicians. 

Navigating Relationship Shifts on Your Healing Journey

Have your relationships changed as you’ve gone further on your healing journey?

If so, you’re not alone. Embarking on a healing journey is a transformative experience for many. Whether you’re diving into therapy, growing your self-awareness, or making lifestyle changes to support your mental health, personal growth often leads to profound shifts in how you see yourself and your relationships.

Personal growth can be empowering, but it can also be isolating when you realize that the people you care about may not be on the same path or might not understand why you’re working toward healing. Perhaps they’re in a different stage of their own healing, or they’re not interested in exploring personal growth at all. These differences in goals and values can sometimes cause frustration and lead to misunderstandings and even conflict. Navigating the relationship changes that accompany your healing journey with compassion—for yourself and for others—is essential.

Why aren’t they growing with me?

One of the hardest parts of healing is accepting that not everyone is ready or able to take the same journey. Some of the reasons that people might resist personal growth or healing include: 

Fear of change

Personal growth requires vulnerability and discomfort, and that’s a hard thing for people to sign up for. Some people may feel safer sticking to familiar patterns, even if they’re unhealthy, because it’s what they know. 

Cultural or familial norms

Sometimes, societal or family expectations discourage self-reflection or emotional work. If there is a long history of family dysfunction, being the one to choose to heal can make you the outcast in the family. In some cultures, seeking therapy or talking about emotions might still carry stigma.

Unrecognized trauma

Not everyone is aware of how their past experiences shape their current behaviors, even if it seems obvious to others. Without developing awareness of how their trauma impacts them now, they may not see a need to change or grow. 

Limited resources

Healing, sadly, is often a privilege. Time, money, and energy can all be barriers to healing. Someone who is overworked, financially strained, or simply surviving day-to-day might not have the capacity to focus on personal growth.

Understanding why people resist growth and healing doesn’t mean excusing harmful behaviors, but it can help you approach others with compassion and empathy. When you’re upset at feeling misunderstood, remember that their reluctance isn’t a rejection of you, it’s a reflection of their own circumstances. Healing and personal growth often comes with new boundaries, values, and perspectives. While these changes feel positive to you, they can feel threatening to people who knew the “old” you. 

It’s painful when loved ones question your decisions, resist your boundaries, or dismiss your progress. Here’s how you can navigate these moments:

Acknowledge how they feel

Change can be unsettling for the people around you. Acknowledge that your growth might be confusing or even painful for them. For example, a friend might feel left out when you’re no longer available for late-night vent sessions, or a family member might struggle to understand why you’re setting firmer boundaries.

You can say: “I know this is a change, and it might feel unfamiliar. I really value our relationship and want to keep growing in a way that’s healthy for both of us.”

Explain why healing is important to you

Sometimes, sharing your "why" when it comes to healing can bridge the gap of understanding for your loved ones. If it feels safe to you, let them in on what you’re learning and how it’s helping you. You might say:

“I’ve been reflecting on how I’ve handled stress in the past, and therapy is helping me find healthier ways to cope. I’m working on setting boundaries so I can take better care of myself and keep my important relationships strong.”

Be kind but firm with your boundaries

Your boundaries are about protecting your well-being, not punishing others. They allow you to maintain relationships that matter to you over long periods of time. When you communicate your boundaries, be clear and consistent, even if loved ones push back. Then, make sure to follow through so that you can benefit from the boundary. For example:

• Boundary: “I will not be responding to text messages or phone calls shaming me for going to therapy.”

• Response to Pushback: “I understand that you feel strongly about this, but my mental health is my business, not yours. If this topic comes up again, I will hang up the phone / end the conversation.”

Be compassionate, if you can

It’s natural to feel hurt or frustrated when others don’t support your healing. But it’s also important to remember that their resistance often stems from their own wounds, not a lack of love for you. Compassion—both for yourself and others—is key. Try to remember that you probably both want the same thing - to figure out a way to have a relationship with each other that feels good. 

When close relationships feel strained in response to your healing, remind yourself that you’re doing your best. Healing is important work, and it makes sense that you want to grow. Your desire for personal growth is valid, even if others don’t understand it. Journaling, therapy, or talking to supportive friends can help you process these emotions.

Acknowledge their pain without taking it on yourself 

If someone lashes out or questions your choices, it’s almost always about them and not about you. Do your best to see the pain beneath their reaction. For example, a loved one might feel abandoned if your healing highlights areas where they feel stuck or have shame about their actions. While their feelings aren’t your responsibility, acknowledging them can defuse the tension.

Try saying something like: “It sounds like this change is hard for you. I’m working on this because it matters to me and my happiness. I care about you very much, and I’m here to listen.”

Practice how you’ll respond

It can be helpful to have some responses in mind when loved ones who mean well question your choices. Here are some polite but firm ways to respond when that happens: 

• “Why are you in therapy? Is something wrong with you?”

• What you can say: “I’m actually doing really well, and therapy is helping me stay that way. It’s a great tool for personal growth.”

• “You’ve changed.”

• What you can say: “I have changed, and I think it’s been for the better. I hope you can recognize that I’m still me, even if I do some things differently.”

• “You don’t have time for me anymore.”

• What you can say: “I’m sorry that it feels that way. I’m working on balancing my time better. Let’s find a way to spend time together that works for both of us.”

What can you do when relationships can’t adapt?

Unfortunately, not all relationships will survive your healing journey. Some people may be unwilling or unable to accept your growth. While this is painful, it’s okay to let go of connections that no longer align with your well-being. Letting go doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it means you’re honoring your needs. If this happens, give yourself permission to grieve the loss while sticking to what matters to you. 

Navigating relationship shifts during your healing journey is challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to deepen your connections with those who can grow alongside you. Remember, healing is a gift you give to yourself, and your experience can inspire those around you. 

If you’re looking for more support in your relationships with yourself and others as you work toward healing, our therapists can help. Reach out to our office today for more information or to schedule an appointment with one of our clinicians. 

Creating a Self-Care Toolkit for Mental Wellness in 2025

As 2024 is wrapping up, many of us are looking ahead and making plans for 2025. 

What if one of those plans was to put together a self care toolkit for your mental health? Instead of starting the new year with pressure to meet goals that may not suit you for the whole year, why not start the year with something to fall back on when you need help getting through something tough?

Taking care of your mental health can feel overwhelming. Between work stress, relationship challenges,financial pressures, and the challenge of navigating an increasingly lonely world, it’s too much to expect that you can handle all of those feelings and challenges without support.That’s why we put together this toolkit–to be there to pick up the slack, and be the supportive friend you can turn to when 2025 starts to be just a little too much to manage on your own.  

This toolkit isn’t about meeting external expectations or achieving someone else’s version of wellness. It’s about creating the practice of returning to tools and relying on support that honor your unique needs, values, and experiences.

To Challenge Perfectionism

Perfectionism can be hard to challenge, especially in today’s world where hustle culture and constant productivity are celebrated. And while it is a slow process, you can begin to challenge perfectionism with a simple practice of self compassion. While perfectionism likes to whisper to us that we’re not good enough no matter what we do or how much we accomplish, self compassion reminds you you’re good enough because you’re simply here. While perfectionism  works to amplify our anxiety and keep us stuck in cycles of self-criticism, self compassion can help you escape that cycle. In 2025, try replacing the drive for self perfection  with self-compassion.

• Practice Imperfect Action: Allow yourself to do things well enough. Whether it’s sending that email without re-reading it five times or letting the laundry wait an extra day, try to take small actions that remind yourself that "good enough" is often good enough.

• Speak Kindly to Yourself: Notice when your inner critic pipes up. Instead of berating yourself, try asking, "What would I say to a close friend in this situation?" Practice responding with that same kindness.For help on this, read our blog on "How to Quiet Your Inner Critic".

To Build Emotional Awareness 

Learning to self-regulate our emotions is a lifelong practice, but one that can offer insight and compassion to how we show up in the world. When emotions feel overwhelming, it can be hard to know where to start. Journaling offers a safe space to process your thoughts and feelings without judgment. If you’re trying to work through big emotions, try these practices:

• Daily Check-Ins: Spend 5-10 minutes writing about what’s on your mind. Ask yourself questions like, "How am I feeling today? What do I need right now?"

• Body Connection Prompts: Tune into your physical self, too. Try questions like, "Where do I feel tension or ease in my body? What is my body trying to tell me?"

Remember, journaling isn’t about creating beautiful entries or solving all your problems—it’s about showing up for yourself. If you feel held back by self consciousness, practice ripping up or throwing away your entries after you write them–you’re not writing to preserve history, you’re writing to get curious about yourself.

To Reframe Your Relationship with Movement

Moving your body can be a powerful tool for connecting to yourself and managing anxiety and depression symptoms, but only when approached with care and respect. Exercise does not need to be about punishing yourself, changing your body, or meeting external goals–in fact, gentle movement is most beneficial for you when it’s motivated by a desire to meet your body’s needs, not to punish it for not being what you think you should be. Try to:

• Find Joy in Movement: Focus on activities that feel good for you–both physically and emotionally. This might mean dancing in your living room, taking a walk to clear your mind, or stretching in a way that releases tension. You don’t need to join a gym or follow a strict schedule or work with a trainer. You just need to notice what’s happening within you to get curious about how to meet your body’s needs.

• Listen to Your Body: Some days, rest is just as valuable as movement. Ask yourself, "What kind of movement feels supportive today?" Maybe the answer is a few deep breaths, and that’s okay.If you're exploring movement, let it be an act of care—not obligation.

Seek Support When You Need It

Despite how it sounds, self-care does not mean doing everything on your own. One of the most powerful acts of self-care is reaching out for support when you need it. Whatever you’re navigating, therapy can offer a space to process, heal, and grow.

Creating a Toolkit That Works for You

Your self-care toolkit doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. Maybe yours includes journaling and quiet walks, while someone else’s includes movement, deep breathing, and or joining a hobby sports league. What matters is that your tools feel accessible, compassionate, and responsive to your needs.

Be gentle with yourself as you create a toolkit that nourishes your mental wellness.

If you’re ready to explore additional support, we’re here to help. Reach out to a therapist today to take the next step on your wellness journey.Contact Us to learn more about how we can support you.

Leaning Into the Season: How to Embrace Rest in Winter

Do you feel a bit at odds with yourself during winter?

In a world that prioritizes productivity above all else, the natural rhythm of winter can feel at odds with our cultural expectations. While there are of course the serious concerns of seasonal affective disorder and managing the ways in which that impacts our daily wellness, but winter can often feel like a challenge because it’s asking us to remember that we’re beings of nature, not machines who can work at an endless pace. Winter demands we slow down and rest, and we struggle the most when we’re not able to engage with those needs.  

What if winter isn’t a time to push through, but an invitation to slow down? Even if we can’t get there fully, like bears hibernating until spring, can we meet our need for slowness and rest this season halfway? Can we learn to welcome a season of rest? Embracing rest during this season can be a radical act of self-care and healing.

What are the Barriers to Rest?

Our relationship to rest is shaped in part by the social and cultural norms we’ve internalized, by observing them in action in those around us. In a society reliant on white supremacist capitalist ideals, we’ve learned that we earn worth through productivity and accomplishment. The extension of that thought, is that instead of deserving rest because we exist and all beings need rest, we must earn it. We are praised for being busy, for hustling, and idealize those who  “push through” adversity, when in reality many folks cannot push through the obstacles in their path because they are systemic inequalities that only compound any obstacles encountered. 

The function of this is to keep us tired, lacking self esteem, not knowing how to take care of ourselves because it has never been a priority, and constantly feeling as though we need to prove our worthiness through running ourselves ragged. (If you’re interested in exploring the connection between capitalist culture and white supremacy, Tricia Hersey, founder of the Nap Ministry, explores just that in her book Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto.) 

This cultural relationship to rest is only one part, but often our personal and family histories only reinforce this toxic imbalance. Think of the environment you grew up in, did those in a caretaking role prioritize rest for themselves? Was rest viewed as a reward, or something that was nice when you were able to do it, but not a necessity? 

We’re often getting the same anti-rest messages on a micro level in our families and communities as we are from our culture at large. It may not be on purpose–while there is a larger function to keeping folks exhausted within capitalism, the lack of rest, or the inability to prioritize rest on a micro level is often due to the constraints of capitalism, where people are struggling to pay their bills, while working more than ever. 

Recognizing these patterns can help us understand why leaning into rest feels so difficult. Therapy can provide a supportive space to explore these histories and begin rewriting the narratives that no longer serve us.

The Challenges of a Slower Season

While it can be a calling to slow down and embrace rest, winter presents its own set of obstacles to navigate. The shorter, darker days make it hard to maintain energy and motivation through the day, while Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can negatively impact mood, sleep, and daily health. Because of this–and our toxic relationship to rest–winter often becomes a season of struggle. We push ourselves to maintain the rhythms of our usual lives, even when our bodies,our minds, and our environment are all signaling the need to slow down.

But humans aren’t machines, and we can’t try to operate as though we are. We’re beings of nature, and just like everything in nature, we need seasons to rest. Nothing in nature grows or blooms all year long, so how could we?. This season of rest lays the foundation for growth and renewal in the spring. What if we allowed ourselves the same grace?

Unpacking the roots of our discomfort with rest is a powerful act of healing. 

Tips for Embracing Rest in Winter:

Give yourself grace if these practices don’t come naturally to you–we’re all unlearning and remaking our relationship with rest the best way we’re able to. Don’t give up on them if they’re hard. Give yourself permission to let go of the need to achieve:

1. Honor Your Natural Rhythms: Listen to your body and mind, and notice when they’re asking for rest. Try to take note of what your body’s patterns are. When do you have the most energy? Can you embrace that as your “productivity” time, and allow yourself moments of rest and ease in the times your energy wanes or struggles to show up? Can you shift your daily routine for a season to make room for these needs? 

2. Create Rest Rituals: Build small moments of rest into your day. They can be small things like lighting a candle, brewing a cup of tea, or spending a few minutes in quiet reflection. Try to keep a list of small ways you find rest through your days that you can turn to when you mind itself is too tired to come up with one. You can also use these small moments to signal to your body that it’s time to transition into resting mode.

3. Remember rest serves a function: We are socialized to see rest as a luxury, or even a waste of time. But without rest, we cannot fully show up in other areas of our lives. Rest allows our mind to wander, strengthening our creativity and sense of self, and allows us time to tend to our body, which has needs that can’t be met when we’re productive. Remember rest nourishes you and enables you to show up more fully in other areas of your life.

4. Seek Connection: You are not alone in your need for rest. Can you give a friend or loved one permission to rest with you, and in turn be granted permission from them to rest? Winter can feel isolating, and that isolation can make it hard to treat ourselves with the kindness we deserve. Relying on loved ones can be mutually beneficial as you start to rework your relationship with rest. 

Embrace the Gift of Winter

Winter invites us to pause, reflect, and restore. By leaning into this season and embracing rest, we can learn to honor the natural rhythms of our lives, and feel more assured in ourselves and our self worth. 

Are you struggling to keep up with the demands of everyday life during the winter? You’re not alone, and working with a therapist can help give you an outlet and find ways to cope in the winter months. Reach out to our office today for more information or to schedule an appointment with one of our clinicians.