6 Ways to Deal With Intrusive Thoughts

Have you ever had a thought pop into your head that was distressing to you? 

You probably have, because you’re human and as humans we have to deal with something called intrusive thoughts. Sometimes intrusive thoughts are about something scary or violent or otherwise socially unacceptable. Intrusive thoughts often cause extreme distress and worry, and they can be difficult to deal with in the moment. 

What are intrusive thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted ideas, images, or urges that seem to pop into your head with no rhyme or reason. The harder you try to ignore the intrusive thoughts, the more difficult it is to block them out and focus on something else. 

We all have intrusive thoughts from time to time, and they don’t last forever. When intrusive thoughts begin to get in the way of your daily functioning, though, it can be distracting and upsetting. Many people who struggle with intrusive thoughts on a regular basis also deal with mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, or OCD. If intrusive thoughts are interfering with your daily life, it may be time to seek support from a mental health professional or your primary care doctor. 

Why are intrusive thoughts so upsetting?

One reason that intrusive thoughts are so distressing is because they can cause you to question yourself and fear your own mind. Often, intrusive thoughts are vivid ideas or images of something upsetting or an urge to do something that upsets you. When an upsetting thought or mental image comes into your head, it can make you fear that you unconsciously want to act on that thought, even when that’s not the case.

Just because you think something doesn’t mean you want to do it or that you’re a bad person. Many people struggle with their intrusive thoughts because they cause so much shame, it feels like they can’t confide in anyone about what is going on. In reality, it’s normal to have thoughts of all kinds, even upsetting ones, and you’re not alone in your experience. You might be surprised to find out that many people deal with intrusive thoughts, and there are things that you can do to help lessen the distress that they cause. 

So, how can you cope with intrusive thoughts? Here are 6 strategies to try the next time you have an upsetting intrusive thought: 

Acknowledge that they’re there

The first step to coping with your intrusive thoughts is to acknowledge that they exist. Have you ever tried to ignore something specific when it’s already on your mind? It’s really hard! Trying to ignore something makes it impossible to get out of your mind, and it will feel like a losing battle to try to pretend the intrusive thoughts aren’t there. 

Acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean that you are okay with them being there, it just means that you don’t have to struggle to pretend they’re not happening. Acknowledging your thoughts can free up the energy that you use trying to ignore them so you can do something to make yourself feel better. 

Focus on what’s true

There’s a skill that’s used in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy called “Check the Facts” that helps you to assess a situation to figure out what is true and what is not before you take action. It is especially helpful in situations where you’re overwhelmed by your thoughts about a situation and need help clarifying what is actually going on without your own judgments getting in the way. This skill helps you regulate your emotional response to a situation, and it can be helpful in moments where intrusive thoughts are overwhelming you. 

The next time you find yourself overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts, take a moment to slow down before reacting. It will take some practice to remember to pause and question yourself about what’s going on. Try to keep a list of questions to ask yourself when you’re trying to cope with intrusive thoughts such as: 

• Is this true? 

• What is the evidence that I have that this thought is true? 

• What is the source of this worry? Is it coming from me or someone else?

• What is the worst case scenario, and what can I do if that happens? 

Remember it won’t last forever

Take a moment to calm down and remind yourself that the distress you are feeling in this moment will pass. Your intrusive thoughts won’t last forever, and you won’t be stuck in this moment forever, either. Thoughts are temporary. Try repeating a mantra like “This too shall pass,” or “It came, so it can go,” to remind yourself of this. 

Distract yourself 

Sometimes distraction isn’t a helpful coping skill, but in situations where you’re extremely distressed, distraction can be exactly what you need. There’s nothing wrong with trying to focus your attention on something else until the upsetting thoughts have passed. 

Try to distract yourself with things like playing with a pet, listening to music, going for a walk, creating art, or working on a puzzle. Pick something that you can get immersed in, so it will be easier for you to distract yourself until the thoughts have passed. 

Try a grounding exercise

Intrusive thoughts take you out of the present moment and lead you to worry or ruminate over something that’s not happening right now. Using a grounding technique or even a mindfulness practice can help you feel more connected to the present moment instead of getting pulled away by the intrusive thought. Use a grounding exercise like the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, where you name 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you feel, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste to help reorient yourself to the present moment. 

Get help from a therapist

Intrusive thoughts can be very upsetting and working with a therapist can help you explore what’s going on. Therapy can help you find strategies to cope that work best for your situation, and can help you be compassionate with yourself in the moment. It takes practice to cope with intrusive thoughts effectively, and therapy can be a helpful source of support as you practice these new skills. 

If you’d like to speak with a therapist about your intrusive thoughts, our therapists in DC, Maryland, and Virginia have appointments available! Get in touch with our office today to set up an appointment!

What Does it Mean to Engage in Self Care When You’re Chronically Ill?

What does it mean to engage in self care when you’re chronically ill?

In general, self-care is the habits or practices you engage in in order to meet your emotional, physical and social needs. Unlike self soothing, which is concerned with providing comfort in the moment, self care is typically some sort of proactive care that has a noticeable effect on your life. It’s basically making sure you meet what you’ve determined to be the essentials for living a fulfilling, happy and healthy life. Some simple examples of self care are: 

• Establishing healthy sleeping habits

• Finding meals that are both enjoyable to eat and provide you with nutrients you need

• Carrying a water bottle around to make sure you stay hydrated

• Putting your prescriptions on auto-refill, or having them delivered to your house if that’s an option

• Taking a walk around your neighborhood

While self soothing often focuses on things that make you feel good in the moment–taking a long shower, a mindfulness exercise, watching a favorite movie, etc–self care is more about the long term maintenance of your wellbeing. Which means it's not always (or ever) a breezy, effortless thing. It can mean using up a lot of energy, both physical and mental, which is something chronically ill people don’t usually have in excess. 

So how can you realistically engage in self care when you’re also managing a chronic illness?

First, as we’ve said before, stop all or nothing thinking:

Life is rarely all or nothing. 50% is pretty much always better than 0%.

Getting started is often the hardest part, especially when the task itself is so massive it feels like even if you start you’ll never finish.  When you tell yourself “I don’t have to finish the dishes, I just have to start them” you’re easing that pressure. Chances are? You’ll realize doing the dishes isn’t actually that bad and you’ll just finish them. And if not? Then some of your dishes are clean now when they weren’t before! 

Your practice doesn’t have to be perfect all of the time. No one is keeping score at how well you’re taking care of yourself or what you’re falling behind on. 

Determine for yourself what you can maintain, and try your best to maintain it–and trust yourself to know when you need to just relax. 

Self care practice: keeping yourself nourished.

When you look up self care, so much advice is centered around food. And food is important! It keeps us alive! But the advice you often stumble upon when looking to take better care of yourself is to cook for yourself more. Cooking is a great way to practice taking care of yourself but it’s not always a realistic solution. Maybe you only have the energy to cook once a week. Or your live with too much pain to stand in a kitchen for a long time, so cooking is extremely rare. Maybe you’re so busy with different doctors appointments that you don’t have much time for grocery shopping or meal planning. 

Chronically ill approach: find your cheats. 

What are easy, filling foods you can throw together when you don’t have more than 10 minutes of kitchen energy in you? Make a list of things like this and use the components as the starting point for your regular shopping list. For example: a bag of frozen fruit & veggies, some yogurt, and juice can be quickly thrown together for a protein rich smoothie that takes little time and effort including prep and clean up. Consider your regular schedule and think of when you tend to have the most energy/feel the best. Is there a predictable time in your week where you could make time to cook? When you do, try to cook enough to yield leftovers so you can have another filling, low energy meal later in the week. 

Self care practice: move your body every day.

Physical wellness impacts our mental wellness and our overall holistic health, so it’s good to find ways to tend to it! While exercise is often a primary example of self-care, that can be tricky to navigate for chronically ill people. What if you’re in too much pain? What if your illness inhibits exercise? 

Chronically ill approach: but listen to it first.

At the root of the advice to move your body each day is the idea that your body’s needs deserve to be recognized and prioritized with regularity. This is actually very important for chronically ill people, even if it doesn’t show up in practice as exercise. Instead, it can be waking up and doing a body scan, assessing how you’re feeling, what your symptoms are–if any sort of gentle movement or stretching would be helpful or if other needs (taking medication, getting hydrated and fed, etc.) need to be taken care of first. And if you have the physical wellness to engage in exercise, remember it doesn’t have to be the aggressive, strenuous type of exercise we often associate with gyms and workout culture. It can be taking a long walk around your neighborhood, volunteering at a community garden, tending to your own house or yard, playing with a nibling, playing with a pet, etc.  

Self care practice: develop routines. 

Having dependable routines can be great! You can learn to prioritize your time and make room for everything you need to do and practice regular rest. But routines themselves depend on you having the same energy and interests all of the time–which is not really true for anyone, but fluctuating and unpredictable health or energy is a major obstacle in life with chronic illness. 

Chronically ill approach: but prioritize your needs over your expectations. 

If you have it in your routine to cook over the weekends because you usually have more time and energy to take care of yourself, but you suddenly get a flare up over the weekend, remember it’s more important to take care of yourself and what you need right now than to live up to the routine expectations you’ve set for yourself. If you push yourself to maintain routines through poor health, you only run the risk of feeling worse for longer. Instead, know when you need to show yourself some grace and let go of your to do list in favor of taking care of the needs pressing for your attention. 

Learning that you have a chronic illness diagnosis is often a life-changing experience. Chronic illness tends to impact every aspect of life, from work to leisure time to money to relationships. Remember, chronic illness is not your fault. If you would like more support in coping with chronic illness, our therapists at Hope+Wellness can help.

6 Ways Hobbies Benefit Your Mental Health

Do you have a hobby?

Your answer to this now might be different than it was 4 years ago, before the pandemic. 

During the COVID lockdowns of 2020, hobbies became more popular than ever as we all looked for ways to keep ourselves busy at home. Surveys show that “59% of Americans took on a new hobby during the coronavirus pandemic.” Furthermore, “79% of consumers said they’ll continue with their hobby even after the pandemic is over.”

Why do we love hobbies?

The reason that hobbies are so popular is because they give you a chance to unwind and recharge mentally. Lots of hobbies are physically taxing, but they allow us time to get in the zone of doing something we like and get over the stress of our day. 

Having something that you care about can make a big difference in your mental health. When you have something to look forward to, it’s easier to deal with smaller day to day annoyances. 

Burnout is extremely common right now for a number of reasons. Time spent engaging in hobbies can be a source of joy and replenishment, which can be a powerful antidote to burnout. It’s like having a little happiness bubble that makes it harder for negativity to get in. 

Hobbies aren’t just for fun, they’re good for you, too! Here are 6 ways hobbies benefit your mental health: 

Level up your confidence

Learning something new helps build up confidence. While being a beginner at something can be frustrating at times, sticking with it and trying again is a way to practice resilience. Over time, as you improve, you’ll feel more confident in your abilities to handle new challenges. In moments when you’re feeling less confident, it can be helpful to remind yourself of how far you’ve come. 

Hobbies also give you a chance to experience mastery, or to feel proud of something you have accomplished. Feeling mastery happens when you can see your improvement over time, and can be a powerful mood booster.

Opportunities for mindfulness

Mindfulness doesn’t just come from meditation. Anything that gives you a chance to be engaged in the present moment is a mindfulness practice. Engaging in a hobby often teaches you to slow down and focus on what you’re doing. Hobbies can also help drown out the pressures and annoyances of the day to day world and narrow your focus down to what you’re doing. This can help lower anxiety! 

Hobbies also offer you a chance to experience a flow state. A flow state is one where you are completely absorbed and engaged in whatever activity you are doing. This state often occurs when you’re skilled in an activity and find yourself completely immersed in it, making it feel like time is flying. This feeling can help with regulating emotions, as well as increasing your sense of happiness and fulfillment. 

Improved cognition

When you engage in a hobby, you’re using your brain. You’re likely using different parts of your brain than when you’re working or in your personal life. Doing new things is helpful for your cognition because it builds new pathways in your brain. The more you use these new pathways, the stronger they become. 

Having a hobby can also help keep your brain healthy. Some hobbies, like playing instruments, have been found to support memory, while others, like puzzles, have been found to protect against dementia. 

Increased creativity

Trying and learning something new can give you a big boost of creativity. Everyone is creative, but we don’t always get opportunities to nurture our creativity. Trying new hobbies can help you nurture your creative side. Hobbies allow you to express yourself in new ways and to learn new skills to keep improving. 

Chances to build community

We’re not meant to be alone in the world, and hobbies are a great way to build community with like-minded people. When you find a group of people who are passionate about the same thing as you, it feels validating. Whether you build community virtually or in real life, increasing your social connections feels good. We all need support from others and finding people who also engage in your hobby can build up your support system. 

Building community sounds intimidating, but it doesn’t all happen overnight. Even something as simple as following a few other people with your hobby on social media can help you feel less alone and more connected to others. 

Lowered stress

After a long stressful day, engaging in a hobby can help you feel better. Hobbies give you a break from your demanding day to day life. Research has shown that when we take time to engage in hobbies we enjoy, our brains release neurotransmitters like dopamine, which feels good. One study found that making visual art significantly lowered the levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, in participant’s blood. 

A hobby can be an outlet that lets you blow off steam when you’re overwhelmed. It’s also helpful to find an activity where you can lose yourself in what you’re doing, because that can help distract you from whatever is causing you stress. 

An important note: Don’t trade rest for hobbies

While hobbies have real mental health benefits, they can also be a way that we overwork ourselves, so be careful to make time for rest. Balancing leisure time with work, life’s responsibilities, and rest can be tough. 

It’s tempting to be productive at every moment, thanks to our cultural obsession with work. Hobbies can be a way to meet that cultural expectation to be productive and fill your time with things other than rest. Focusing on the joy of experiencing your hobby, instead of on the outcome, can help you get the benefits of a hobby without forcing yourself to be useful or productive. 

Many people feel pressure to monetize their hobbies, especially in times of financial insecurity. Putting pressure on yourself to be so good at something that you can make money off of it can take away the positive aspects of engaging in hobbies. 

It takes real effort to disconnect from the idea that you need to be productive at all times, including your leisure time. It’s okay to use your free time for rest instead of finding another way to get things done.

Hobbies are just one way to benefit your mental health, but there are many others, including working with a therapist. If you’re looking for a mental health professional who can help you in Washington, DC, Maryland, and Northern Virginia, get in touch with our office today. 

What Do I Need to Know Before my First Therapy Session?

First: take a second to feel proud of yourself.

Starting therapy is a big step. While therapy has been more normalized and less taboo to talk about socially in recent years, it’s still a difficult step to take for yourself. It requires a lot of vulnerability and self compassion–and hope! Taking the step is incredibly brave, and if you haven’t heard it somewhere else, let us be the first to say, we’re proud of you. 

Starting something new–especially something like therapy, which asks us to be present and raw and honest–often brings up some anxiety. If you’re feeling nervous or apprehensive before your first session, know that that’s completely common and nothing to be ashamed of. And if you’re willing to bring it up, it’s something you can tell your therapist in your first session so they can more specifically address what you’re concerned about! 

To help cover some more general concerns, here are our tips on how to prepare for your first therapy session:

Check your therapists website:

It’s common for therapists to have a page on their website that covers what goes into getting started with them. It’s possible any questions you have about the process have already been answered there! Ours includes a frequently asked questions section, but some practices have this as a separate page. While it’s not necessarily required, you could also review the modality your therapist will be utilizing so you can familiarize yourself with what it means and what that looks like in practice. 

Review contact from your therapist: 

How did you make your appointment? Did you get a confirmation email or a message from your therapist with any info on what to bring to the first session? For example, at our practice, once patients are scheduled they get an email with our welcome packet to complete in our online patient portal–this includes any paperwork we need from patients we need to get started with care. Be sure to check if you need to have paperwork completed before your first appointment! 

Prepare for some housekeeping: 

Starting therapy isn’t jumping into the treatment right away. First, you need to meet with your new therapist and go over what brings you in, what could impact your care, what steps your therapist thinks are right for you, etc. In these consultation sessions, your therapist will get some background information on you as a client and go over potential goals for your therapeutic treatment. This time is important for both you and your therapist to assess your fit together!

Ask yourself what you need to feel safe being vulnerable: 

Just as your therapist will be assessing the fit of their practice for your needs, as you begin your work together it’s up to you to decide how you’re feeling about the fit as well. Do you feel comfortable being honest with this person? How does your body react to being with them? If you’re tense or anxious or nervous in your body, is it a discomfort that you can sit with and overcome, or is it more severe, trying to tell you something doesn’t feel safe for you? If it’s discomfort you can sit with, take some time to think about what it is that is causing the discomfort. Are these things you can address with your new therapist? They may be able to help you overcome what might block you from being honest in that space. 

While you can always bring things up throughout your relationship, making intentional space with your therapist to go over what you need to feel safe trusting them with your vulnerability can help lay a strong foundation for the therapeutic relationship right from the beginning. 

If you’re looking for support in the process of finding a therapist, contact us and we can help personally match you to a therapist based on your needs.