20 Journal Prompts for Grief + Loss

Do you take the time to journal?

Journaling can be a very valuable practice, and best of all it’s a pretty cheap way to process your feelings. You can start a journal that’s specific to your feelings of grief, or you can keep a general journal for all of your thoughts. There are also no rules on the actual how of journaling: you can journal by hand, via an app, in a note on your phone, or wherever works for you. Your journal, however you decide to keep it, is just a private space for you to write down what you’re feeling. It can take whatever form you want it to, whether it’s exploring and releasing the emotions you’re feeling, coming up with ways to cope, or tracking the things that are making you anxious. Journaling can be a fantastic, active way to engage with our emotions without letting them overpower us, especially complex emotions like grief that we don’t always have a ton of experience with. 

Grief is something that we all experience from time to time, but it’s a hard thing to talk about. It’s also important to remember that grief can be a response to all kinds of things, not just losing someone.  While most folks are familiar with the grief associated with loss or death, there are many kinds of grief out there - you can grieve after a divorce, career change, loss of a pet, or even after a move, and that’s not a complete list.  As a matter of fact, the definition of grief is not only the reaction to loss, but it can also encompass “the conflicting feelings caused by the end of or change in a familiar pattern of behavior.” You can also experience anticipatory grief, which is grief caused by the anticipation of a loss. This kind of grief can be the result of losing someone after a long illness, worrying about loss as someone ages, or even after anticipating the kind of loss and destruction that a global pandemic can bring. Grief is a pretty universal experience, but everyone reacts in their own way to grief. 

Journaling can help with meaning-making during the grief process. An important task during the grieving process is to figure out what your new life looks like after experiencing loss. Using a journal to work through your thoughts and feelings can help you construct a new self-narrative. If writing about tough topics like grief and loss has you feeling emotional, that’s totally normal. In fact, crying is a natural way to relieve stress and regulate emotions - it’s a physiological function that we’re born with, so if you have the urge to cry or get upset, try to allow yourself to feel those feelings. Taking the time to journal your feelings can help you explore your internal world, express yourself in a safe, judgment-free zone, and make meaning of the situation causing you grief. 

If you’re grieving and looking to start a journal, you might be stuck on where to begin. Here are some prompts to help you get started:

• Today, I miss…

• When I feel upset, I can call…

• Today, I remembered…

• This experience has taught me…

• Do I have any regrets about this situation? 

• If I could say something to you, I would say…

• What are some ways you’ve expressed grief in the past? Did they feel helpful to you?

• What feelings am I looking forward to? What feelings do I want to leave behind? 

• Write a list of activities that you can engage in to make yourself feel better

• Do I feel comfortable asking for help? Why or why not? 

• Who is in my support system? 

• Make a list of ways you feel taken care of both by yourself and by others. 

• What’s a positive memory I have of this person or situation? 

• How did this person or experience make you feel? 

• If you are grieving the loss of a person, write down a list of things specific to them that you admired. 

• What creative ways do I use to express my feelings? If I can’t think of any, what are some I can try? 

• Make a list of a few different ways you can honor your loved one or your loss.

• When I am overcome by grief, here is a mantra or affirmation I can use to comfort myself: 

• Here are five ways I can be compassionate with myself today…

• Do I know anyone else who is grieving? How can I try to make them feel better today? 

You don’t need to write something for every one of these prompts, just pick one or two that speak to you and start there. You don’t have to write anything profound or perfect - just write what comes to you and try not to judge yourself too harshly. If a lot of complicated feelings come up while you do this, know that that’s okay. Journaling is a fantastic tool for self-reflection, but it can be an emotional process, especially when you’re journaling about something as emotionally fraught as grief, so be gentle with yourself. Remember, you’re doing this to help yourself feel better, so don’t make yourself feel worse during the process.

If you need more ideas for journaling prompts or questions to ask yourself as you go through the grieving process, our counselors can help you reflect + work through your grief in a way that works for you. 

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therapists in falls church, mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, arlington and vienna, va

Hope+Wellness is a therapy practice serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. We provide compassionate care to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice is in-network with BCBS and provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

4 Ways to Add Mindfulness to Your Daily Routine

What does it mean to cultivate a mindfulness practice? 

We’ve touched on mindfulness on our blog before, specifically how mindfulness can help with stress relief. But how does one go about cultivating their own daily mindfulness practice?

If you’re totally new to mindfulness and don’t want to branch out on your own yet, a good place to start is with a mindfulness app. We’ve got a list of ten right here that can help guide you through developing your own mindfulness routine. 

But you might not want to use an app. Part of the reason people love mindfulness so much, is that it helps them to be in the present moment without extraneous distractions. And if you find yourself clicking back and forth between different apps mindlessly every time you pick up your phone, a mindfulness app might not be the best way to go about creating your mindfulness practice! 

So how can you get started on your own mindfulness?

There is no one right way to be mindful, or to practice mindfulness. You don’t need a specially designated mindfulness or meditation space. The most important thing in mindfulness is the switch from your doing mode to you being mode, whatever that looks like in your life. 

Switching over to your being mode is all about tuning into your different senses and engaging with the present moment. To do this, ask yourself questions like: 

• What sounds am I hearing? Where are they coming from?

• What can I smell? Where is that smell coming from? What does that smell make me think of?

• What is around me? How is my body interacting with my environment? 

• What can I see around me? What have I been overlooking?

• How does my body feel? Am I sore, tired, aching? Do my limbs feel heavy? In noticing this, do I now want to stretch?

• Where is my attention going? Am I staying in the present moment, or are my thoughts wandering? Why might I be having trouble keeping my attention at the present?

You can use these questions to get you started at any point in your day. If you’re looking for more structure in your mindfulness routine consider: 

Setting your alarm for five minutes earlier than you normally wake up: 

You don’t need to spend a lot of time on mindfulness. Like most self care, mindfulness is more about the quality of your practice than the quantity. Giving yourself five extra minutes at the beginning of the day is a perfect way to ease into mindfulness. You don’t even need to get out of bed to do it! Take those five minutes to lay awake in bed, engaging with your senses, asking yourself those mindfulness questions. 

Add mindfulness into mindless tasks: 

What do you normally think about when brushing your teeth? Or washing your dishes? We do these things on autopilot, so your mind probably wanders out of habit. Find these small mindless moments throughout the day, and see if you can refocus. Use them as opportunities in your regular routine to add a bit of mindfulness. What does your toothpaste smell like? How do the bristles feel on your teeth? How does your arm feel brushing? What do you hear while brushing your teeth? Or how does the soap and water feel on your skin while you wash your dishes? 

Enriching an activity you already enjoy:

What’s something you like to do every day? Do you love cooking? Going for a walk after work? Pick one of these things you enjoy, and try to do them mindfully. Put your phone away or turn it off so you aren’t tempted to get distracted. When your mind wanders, be gentle with yourself, and redirect your attention back to what you’re doing. If you’re cooking: what are you smelling? What are you hearing? What do the smells, tastes, sounds, sights, make you feel? If you’re on a walk: what’s happening around you? Is it windy? Can you hear neighborhood pets or kids playing? Is the traffic loud?  What colors are you seeing? 

Adding mindfulness to your bedtime routine: 

Just as with your morning routine, adding in a few minutes of mindfulness can be a great way to end your day. When you’re all ready for bed, find a comfortable position and sit for a few minutes. How are you feeling? What feelings has the day left in you? Focus on your breath, breathing in and out slowly. Not only can this help you focus on mindfulness, but it can also help you relax, which is perfect to help you ease into restful sleep. 

If you're looking for support as you develop a mindfulness practice, or if you're not sure where to begin, contact us today for help!

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counseling in falls church, mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, arlington and vienna, va

Hope+Wellness is a therapy practice serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. We provide compassionate care to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice is in-network with BCBS and provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

How Grounding Techniques Can Help With Anxiety

If you’ve dealt with anxiety before, you know that it can be hard to get out of the cycle of panic on your own. When you’re in the midst of an anxious spiral, it can be almost impossible to snap yourself out of it, especially if you haven’t practiced. Anxiety is a complicated condition, but luckily there are ways to prepare yourself for your next bout of anxiety. One of the most popular ways to help manage panic or distressing thoughts is by grounding yourself. 

What is grounding?

Grounding is a practice that allows you to connect back to your body and the earth. Grounding is a great option when you want to feel more stable and relaxed. Taking the time to focus on your connection to your body and the earth can help you approach things from a place of stability, rather than panic. 

Grounding is kind of like taking a deep breath and resetting when your emotions are heightened. It allows you to take a break from the mass of thoughts and worries in your head and instead focus on being present in your body. Using a grounding technique can help break the cycle of anxious thoughts and return you to the present moment.

The techniques used in grounding aren’t limited to just anxiety relief. They can be helpful for folks dealing with PTSD, frequent bouts of dissociation, feeling the urge to self-harm, and for folks struggling with substance use. Since the point of grounding is to bring you back to the present, instead of getting lost in your thoughts and feelings, it can be a valuable way to calm yourself down quickly in any situation. 

What are some ways to practice grounding yourself? 

There are a lot of ways to ground yourself, and you don’t have to try them all. You might go through the list and try a few out and find one that works really well for you, or you might use a different technique every time. Here are some of our favorite grounding techniques to try when you feel anxious:

The 5-4-3-2-1 Method.

This method uses the senses to ground yourself. Find five things you can see, then four things you can feel, then three things you can hear, then two things you can smell, and finally, one thing you can taste. Make sure to say each thing out loud to yourself. 

Carry a grounding object.

You might find it helpful to bring a grounding object with you when you’re out and about. The object can be whatever you want it to be (rocks, soft fabrics, photographs, marbles, trinkets, crystals, etc.), just make sure it’s easy to grab when you feel your anxiety kicking up. Focus entirely on your object, using your hands to touch it and taking note of anything you feel with your body.

Make a hot beverage.

Focusing fully on the process, make a warm beverage for yourself, like coffee, tea, or hot chocolate. Carefully follow each step of the process. Take note of what your body feels during the process - use your senses as a guide. 

Use water.

Try putting your hands in water. Switch up the temperature and notice how that feels on your skin. How does the water feel on your fingers? On your palms? Does it feel the same everywhere, or does it feel different depending on the part of your hand that’s submerged?

Return to your breath.

There’s a reason why people say “take a deep breath!” when you’re worked up over something - it is a quick way to help you calm your body + brain down. Close your eyes and follow the count of your breath. Try inhaling for longer than you exhale, and vice versa. Notice what it feels like to change up the rhythm of your breath. 

Picture a stream.

Imagine that your brain is a river and your thoughts are leaves on the top of the water, floating past. For every new thought you have, picture placing it on a leaf and watching it float right on past. This is a great reminder that thoughts naturally come and go, and we don’t have to fixate on them. 

Wiggle your feet.

Sometimes you might not want to draw tons of attention to yourself when you’re trying to ground yourself. A fairly private way to ground yourself in a public place is to focus on your feet in your shoes. Wiggle your toes in your shoes, tense up your foot and then allow it to relax, stretch a little. How do your feet feel in your shoes? 

Get moving.

A great way to distract yourself is to use some of that anxious energy by moving your body. Movement doesn’t have to mean punishing your body for the way it looks, it’s just another tool in your mental toolkit to help yourself feel better. Explore ways of movement that feel good to you. If you have a hard time coming up with something, think back to the ways you liked to move as a child. Did you dance a lot? Jump rope? Hula hoop? Play a sport? See if there’s a way you can reincorporate that activity into your adult life. 

The Grounding Chair technique.

Sit straight up in your seat, with your feet on the ground and your hands on your knees. Start with some deep breaths, then take note of how your body feels in the chair. What does it feel like where your body is touching your seat? What material is the chair made of? Imagine the energy in your body moving through your body back into the earth. As you imagine the energy moving, relax your muscles and take note of how that feels. 

Observe your surroundings.

Whether you’re inside or outside, actively take a look at your surroundings. Are you warm or cold? Are you in nature? What can you see or hear? Describe your surroundings with tons of detail to yourself. 

Having a plan for when anxiety kicks up can go a long way toward making you feel better. Try out a few of these grounding techniques and see which ones work best for you. Then you have something to turn to when you’re feeling anxious and lost and are having a hard time calming yourself down. Make sure to practice these techniques when you’re feeling safe and your anxiety is low, so you can focus on mastering the techniques instead of calming your anxiety until you get the hang of it. If you need help creating a plan for your next bout of anxiety, our clinicians can help you find one that works for you. 

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counseling in falls church, mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, arlington and vienna, va

Hope+Wellness is a therapy practice serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. We provide compassionate care to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice is in-network with BCBS and provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

6 Journaling Prompts to Help You Examine Your Relationships

It is a strange and scary time right now. 

With the spread of COVID-19 many of us are worried for our own health, worried for the health of loved ones, and we’re all facing a huge shift in our daily lives. Whether it’s due to increased professional stress (both increased work for essential workers, and loss of work for non-essential folks), health stress, or personal stress from self-quarantining–we’re all facing big life changes now. 

And while it can definitely be frightening and overwhelming, this can also be a time to do some self reflection. Taking care of ourselves is more important now than ever, and that includes our mental and social wellbeing. 

Along with making sure we’re giving ourselves lots of good foods, rest, and following social distancing guidelines, we should make time to check in with the status and health of our various relationships. 

It might seem odd–since social distancing is restricting our capabilities to be social in many ways (though not completely!)–to focus on relationships right now. But the distancing can actually help to provide us with new, useful and interesting insights to our own needs. 

Often we take our social lives and relationships for granted, and this new space and distance between all of us can help to shed some light on what types of relationships bring us comfort, which relationships are reciprocal, which are fulfilling–and which are not. 

That’s why today I’ve put together a list of journaling prompts for you to use to examine your relationships while in self-quarantine. 

Prompt: “I feel most seen + loved when…”

Knowing what makes us feel loved the most is the first step in cultivating relationships that provide those things. When we explore what makes us feel seen, known, and loved, we are giving ourselves permission to acknowledge our own needs. And then, with that acknowledgement, and the knowledge of what makes us feel the most loved, we can then share that information with our loved ones. Even if it feels silly (ex.: “I like it when you text me X times a day”) it’s important to recognize and share what makes you feel loved! Knowing and sharing your favorite ways to be loved gives the people in your life (friends, family, partners) the opportunity to express their love for you in a way that will mean the most to you. 

Prompt: “My relationships provide….”

This is a good prompt to examine the overall health of your relationships. Take a look at the significant relationships in your life (partners, close friends, etc.) What do those relationships provide? Is it support? Love? Advice? Joy? If you can’t figure out what positive things are being provided within your relationships, it may be time to examine whether that relationship has run its course. If a friendship only provides you and the friend a space to come together and gossip or talk negatively about yourselves and others, it may be time to let the friendship go. 

It also helps to examine what it is you actually want your relationships to provide. What are the needs you can meet on your own, and what are the needs you need help from others meeting? Use this as a guiding principle when forming new or evaluating existing relationships.

Prompt: “Conversations with [name] make me feel…”

Think about the most significant relationships in your life currently. Are they providing what you need? Do they make you feel supported? Imagine you just had dinner with them. What are you feeling after that dinner? Refreshed? Happy? Supported? Or are you drained? Frustrated? Tense? Taking time to examine the feelings we get after interacting with the different people in our lives helps us to determine which relationships in our lives are healthy, and which are not. 

Prompt: “I feel drained in relationships that…”

What is it that drains you in a relationship? Think back to a relationship (romantic or platonic) that has left you feeling burned out or drained. What was it about that relationship that made you feel that way? Were boundaries crossed or ignored? Was there constant negative talk? Did you feel like you couldn’t be your true self?

Prompt: “I feel tense when thinking about my relationship with….”

Is there a relationship in your life that needs your attention? Identifying which relationships leave you feeling tense can help you work out exactly what it is that makes you feel tense within those relationships. And knowing what triggers that feeling in your relationships helps inform you what you should be looking out for when forming new relationships–and what to address with those people who do leave you feeling drained. 

Prompt: “I feel relieved & supported when thinking about my relationship with…”

On the flip side of the last prompt, it’s equally important to learn which relationships make us feel our best. It can help teach you which “green flags” to look out for when making new relationships, and which needs to express in other relationships that may need some attention. 

Prompt: “I feel like the best version of myself with…” or “I’m comfortable being vulnerable with…”

What are the conditions within relationships that allow you to feel comfortable being your truest, or best self? What conditions allow you to feel comfortable being vulnerable? Feeling comfortable being vulnerable is a major part of healthy relationships, so figuring out exactly what helps you to feel like that will help you replicate that in other relationships, and will let you know what to look out for (and what to avoid) as you form new relationships. 

You may have noticed that many of these journal prompts, while about relationship reflection, actually took the form of self reflection. That’s because, in order to thrive in relationships, we first need to learn about ourselves. When we know our needs, wants, and deal breakers, we are able to show up 100% in our relationships. And when we are able to show up fully, we are able to make the most of the relationships in our lives. 

If you need some extra support in figuring out how to start your journey of self care and self reflection, we can help. Contact us today! 

therapists in falls church, mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, arlington and vienna, va

Hope+Wellness is a therapy practice serving the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. We provide compassionate care to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice is in-network with BCBS and provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness and acceptance based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!