3 Life Changing Poems That You Need to Read

Walk Slowly by Danna Faulds

It only takes a reminder to breathe,
a moment to be still, and just like that,
something in me settles, softens, makes
space for imperfection. The harsh voice
of judgment drops to a whisper and I
remember again that life isn't a relay
race; that we will all cross the finish
line; that waking up to life is what we
were born for. As many times as I
forget, catch myself charging forward
without even knowing where I'm going,
that many times I can make the choice
to stop, to breathe, and be, and walk
slowly into the mystery.

Let it Go by Danna Faulds

Let go of the ways you thought life would unfold:
the holding of plans or dreams or expectations – Let it all go.
Save your strength to swim with the tide.
The choice to fight what is here before you now will
only result in struggle, fear, and desperate attempts
to flee from the very energy you long for. Let go.
Let it all go and flow with the grace that washes
through your days whether you received it gently
or with all your quills raised to defend against invaders.
Take this on faith; the mind may never find the
explanations that it seeks, but you will move forward
nonetheless. Let go, and the wave’s crest will carry
you to unknown shores, beyond your wildest dreams
or destinations. Let it all go and find the place of
rest and peace, and certain transformation.

Allow (Danna Faulds)

There is no controlling life. 
Try corralling a lightning bolt, 
containing a tornado. Dam a 
stream and it will create a new 
channel. Resist, and the tide 
will sweep you off your feet. 
Allow, and grace will carry 
you to higher ground. The only 
safety lies in letting it all in – 
the wild and the weak; fear, 
fantasies, failures and success. 
When loss rips off the doors of 
the heart, or sadness veils your 
vision with despair, practice 
becomes simply bearing the truth. 
In the choice to let go of your 
known way of being, the whole 
world is revealed to your new eyes.  

If you enjoyed these poems, check out Dana’s books, including Go In and In: Poems From the Heart of Yoga, Limitless, From Root to Bloom, and Breath of Joy.

---

psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help develop the best treatment for you!

5 Things You Need to Know About Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy may have been a term you’ve heard before when researching therapy options, but what is it and what does it mean? What’s so amazing about it?

1. CBT has been shown to be effective for a wide range of presenting concerns, including depression and anxiety. It has also been found to contribute to significant improvements in functioning and quality of life.

2. CBT has been studied extensively in both research and clinical practice. Its efficacy is evidence based and scientifically informed. There is much scientific evidence showing that CBT is effective in producing meaningful change and improvements for clients.

3. One of the core principles of CBT is that anxiety, depression, and problems with mood are related to unhelpful behaviors and patterns of thoughts. People can thus learn new, healthy ways of thinking and coping to effectively relieve symptoms and improve their lives.

4. Psychologists and clients work together collaboratively to develop goals and to actively target symptoms. Time is spent examining present-day issues, thoughts, and behaviors.

5. Skills clients develop through CBT may include learning how to face fears, , problem solving difficult situations, recognizing patterns of unhelpful thoughts and behaviors, and ways to calm the mind and body.

---

psychologist in mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help develop the best treatment for you!

15 Inspirational Mental Health Quotes That Will Help You Feel Less Alone

15 Inspirational Mental Health Quotes That Will Help You Feel Less Alone

It’s hard to live with depression, anxiety, and stress and it can feel lonely at times, as if others cant or dont understand. But the truth is that there are people out there who do, who have been through their own journeys and struggles. Here are some quotes that will help you feel less alone.

“I fight for my health every day in ways most people don’t understand. I’m not lazy. I’m a warrior.”

“Gardens are not made by sitting in the shade.”

— Rudyard Kipling

“Failure is a great teacher and, if you are open to it, every mistake has a lesson to offer.”

— Oprah Winfrey

“If you stumble, make it part of the dance.”

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

— Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

“Your illness is not your identity. Your chemistry is not your character.”

— Pastor Rick Warren

“Even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there.”

— Charlie from “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”

“’I wish it need not have happened in my time,’ said Frodo.
‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, ‘and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.’”

— J.R.R. Tolkien from “The Fellowship of the Ring“

“You are valuable just because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are.”

— Max Lucado

“In the middle of winter I at last discovered that there was in me an invincible summer.”

— Albert Camus

“It’s up to you today to start making healthy choices. Not choices that are just healthy for your body, but healthy for your mind.”

— Steve Maraboli

“One of the things that baffles me (and there are quite a few) is how there can be so much lingering stigma with regards to mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder. In my opinion, living with manic depression takes a tremendous amount of balls. Not unlike a tour of Afghanistan (though the bombs and bullets, in this case, come from the inside). At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of.
They should issue medals along with the steady stream of medication.”

— Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking

“There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.”

— John Green, Turtles All the Way Down

“There is no standard normal. Normal is subjective. There are seven billion versions of normal on this planet.”

— Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive

“But no matter how much evil I see, I think it’s important for everyone to understand that there is much more light than darkness.”

— Robert Uttaro

“Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”

— Joubert Botha

“I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.”

— Amy March

Which of the quotes was your favorite? Did any of them resonate with you? Let us know in the comments below; we’d love to hear from you.

therapist serving mclean, tysons corner, merrifield, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other top, premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help develop the best treatment for you!

24 Resources for Children and Teens with Anxiety and Their Families

We all experience anxiety, but sometimes it can become overwhelming and begin to interfere with your child’s daily functioning and quality of life. For example. some anxiety is healthy and natural when we are taking tests as it can help enhance performance. However, when anxiety becomes overwhelming, it can disrupt performance for children. Sometimes when anxious, children may begin to avoid certain triggering situations and events, such as peers, teachers, or school itself. The avoidance then serves to maintain the anxiety and to worsen it over time. As a parent, how can you help your child break free of anxiety, out of their mind and into their life?

It can be difficult to find resources to help. Here, we list websites, books, organizations, apps, and videos for valuable information and support.

organizations providing information and resources on child anxiety

These organizations provide invaluable information on anxiety and how to cope with it. They also provide listings of resources you may find helpful.

Anxiety and Depression Association of America - Anxiety and Depression in Children

https://adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/children/anxiety-and-depression

National Institute of Mental Health

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/index.shtml

Child Mind Institute

https://childmind.org/topics/concerns/anxiety/

American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/The-Anxious-Child-047.aspx

websites providing helpful information, handouts, and resources on child anxiety

These websites provide helpful information, handouts, and resources on anxiety and learning to cope with it.

Youth Anxiety BC

https://youth.anxietybc.com/

Anxiety.org

https://www.anxiety.org/causes-and-symptoms-of-anxiety-in-children

Worry Wise Kids

http://www.worrywisekids.org/

Brave Online - Helping Young Kids Overcome Anxiety

http://www.brave-online.com/

Coping Cat Parents

https://www.copingcatparents.com/Child_Anxiety_Tales

Anxiety Canada

https://www.anxietycanada.com/

blogs and online communities on child anxiety

Websites and forums featuring individuals writing about their journeys toward overcoming anxiety.

Parenting Anxious Kids

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/anxious-kids/

Anxiety Free Child Blog

http://anxietyfreechild.com/blog/

Turn Around Anxiety Blog

https://www.turnaroundanxiety.com/blog/

mindfulness exercises for child anxiety

Mindfulness Exercises for Children and Teens

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/mindfulness-for-children-kids-activities/

Cosmic Kids Mindfulness Meditation Videos

https://www.cosmickids.com/mindfulness-meditation-videos-kids/

Mindfulness for Kids YouTube Video Resources

https://www.theottoolbox.com/2018/01/mindfulness-for-kids-youtube-videos.html

anxiety apps

Headspace for kids

https://www.headspace.com/how-it-works

Breathe2Relax

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/breathe2relax/id425720246?mt=8

Calm

https://www.calm.com/

books for anxiety

These books are often recommended to patients by child psychologists who treat anxiety in children, and are written by clinical experts in the field.

What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (What-to-do Guides for Kids)

Freeing Your Child from Anxiety

Helping Your Anxious Child

Wilma Jean the Worry Machine

The Anxiety Workbook for Teens

What resources have you found useful in helping your child manage anxiety? If you have any other resources that might be helpful for others, let us know in the comments below!

---

Child Anxiety Treatment in mclean, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with stress, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

3 Tips for Parenting a Child with Chronic Pain

It can be challenging to parent a child with chronic pain. Not only is it difficult to see your child in pain, but parents often feel helpless, stuck, and unsure of what to do to help ease the pain and mitigate its impacts on their child’s life and daily functioning. For instance, children with chronic pain often begin to miss school, become socially isolated, and feel increasingly depressed and anxious over time. So how can parents help support their children get back to life and functioning even in the face of pain?

1. Interdisciplinary Assessment and Treatment of Pediatric Chronic Pain

   One of the things that makes parenting a child with chronic pain so challenging is that what seems most intuitive and most natural when treating acute, short-term pain, such as rest, time off from school, can often worsen chronic pain. So it’s important to get a proper comprehensive evaluation done prior to treatment. You can find an interdisciplinary clinic which specializes in pediatric pain. These clinics specialize in appropriately assessing and diagnosing pain and will help you determine appropriate treatment. Specialists there can help your child learn to manage and maintain normal age-appropriate functioning despite the chronic pain.

   Because chronic pain is so complex, treatment must also be multifaceted and interdisciplinary to appropriately tailor treatment and target critical domains involved. Interdisciplinary programs often involve evaluation by a physician, psychologist, physical or occupational therapists. There are a few of these programs across the country, including here in Washington DC, at the Pain Medicine Care Complex at Children’s National Health Systems. Below is a list of a few programs with interdisciplinary pediatric pain programs:

   • Cincinnati Children’s Pain Management Clinic

   • Nemours/Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children Pediatric Pain Management

   • Kennedy Krieger Institute Chronic Pain Rehabilitation Program

   • Children’s Hospital of Pennsylvania (CHOP) Pain Management Program

   • Boston Children’s Pain Treatment Center

   • Stanford Children’s Health Pediatric Pain Management

   • Seattle Children’s Pain Medicine Clinic

   • Cleveland Clinic Pain Rehabilitation Program

2. Work with your child’s physician, psychologist, and physical therapist to understand what activities can be tolerated by your child.

   Parents play an incredibly important role in treatment and in their child’s outcomes. The treatment of chronic pain is highly complex, so it is important to work hand in hand with your child’s specialist providers.

   It might seem counterintuitive, but oftentimes, parents are recommended by specialists to encourage normal, age appropriate activity by their children. It’s important that children maintain functioning despite the pain. It makes sense when you consider that children who begin to lose functioning such as frequent school absences, fall behind, become stressed, increasingly depressed, anxious, and socially isolated, which are factors that can all contribute to worsening pain. Therefore, parents are often asked to provide positive reinforcement and praise for engaging in normal daily activities. Avoid questioning about the presence of pain. Consider whether the pain may have secondary functions such as avoidance or escape from undesirable activities. Work closely with your child’s treatment team to understand how you can best support your child emotionally and behaviorally. Because pain is so complex, all lifestyle factors must be considered and targeted.

3. Help your child get good sleep

   Sleep is often significantly affected in children with chronic pain. Pain and discomfort can make it very difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. This can result in increased and worsening pain during the day. Therefore, it is important for parents to help promote healthy sleep behaviors and a regular sleep-wake schedule in their children. Healthy sleep hygiene includes:

   • Limiting use of the bed for sleep (and not homework, watching TV or other activities)

   • A consistent bedtime routine

   • Limiting use of electronics

   • Consistent bedtime and waketimes

   • Limiting intake of caffeine, tea, coffee

   It can help to work with a psychologist who specializes in working with children with chronic pain. Sleep is an important area to address as it impacts pain, mood, as well as energy and ability to function and attend school, all of which in turn are also related to pain.

In sum, chronic pain in children can be difficult and stressful to navigate, but with time, appropriate specialized care, and parental support, children with chronic pain can manage it and reclaim their lives again for greater health and happiness.

Please read blog disclaimer below; this blog does not replace medical advice.

---

pediatric psychologist in mclean, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults with chronic pain, anxiety, and depression. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

12 Quotes That Describe What It's Like to Live with Bipolar Disorder

It can be tough to live with bipolar disorder, which makes one prone to moods so incredibly varied, nuanced, and intense that most humans do not experience. Moods can be exhilarating and intoxicating, and yet also darkly devastating — sometimes all at once. This is why bipolar is somewhat of a misleading term — it implies that a person experiences two extremes of emotion, when the reality is that moods occur in different subtleties in their nature.

I like to think of emotions like a color palette — different colors can be mixed to create various shades and tones of mood. With bipolar, this ability is heightened so much so that moods themselves can be difficult to survive.

So what’s it like to live with bipolar disorder? Why is it associated with such a high rate of suicide? What are the struggles individuals with bipolar disorder face every day? What are some of the highs and lows and why is it so strongly associated with creativity?

Below are 12 quotes that describe different sides of bipolar disorder.

“I have a chemical imbalance that, in its most extreme state, will lead me to a mental hospital… I outlasted my problems. I am mentally ill. I can say that. I am not ashamed of that. I survived that, I’m still surviving it, but bring it on.”

— Carrie Fisher

“I was actually manic a lot of the times that I would take on workloads, and I would say, ‘Yes, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.’ I was conquering the world, but then it would all come crashing down and I would be more depressed than ever.”

— Demi Lovato

“When under the strain of bipolar’s strongest symptoms, we certainly can make selfish decisions, but that doesn’t make us selfish people. In fact, because we have struggled and known such depths of darkness, our compassion runs deeper.”

— Lyss Trayers

“There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you’re high it’s tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people. Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria pervade one’s marrow. But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friends’ faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against— you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and enmeshed totally in the blackest caves of the mind. You never knew those caves were there. It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.”

— Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

“Bipolar robs you of that which is you. It can take from you the very core of your being and replace it with something that is completely opposite of who and what you truly are. Because my bipolar went untreated for so long, I spent many years looking in the mirror and seeing a person I did not recognize or understand. Not only did bipolar rob me of my sanity, but it robbed me of my ability to see beyond the space it dictated me to look. I no longer could tell reality from fantasy, and I walked in a world no longer my own.”

— Alyssa Reyans, Letters from a Bipolar Mother

“Soon madness has worn you down. It’s easier to do what it says than argue. In this way, it takes over your mind. You no longer know where it ends and you begin. You believe anything it says. You do what it tells you, no matter how extreme or absurd. If it says you’re worthless, you agree. You plead for it to stop. You promise to behave. You are on your knees before it, and it laughs.”

— Marya Hornbacher, Madness: A Bipolar Life

“She was a free bird one minute: queen of the world and laughing. The next minute she would be in tears like a porcelain angel, about to teeter, fall and break. She never cried because she was afraid that something ‘would’ happen; she would cry because she feared something that could render the world more beautiful, ‘would not’ happen.”

— Roman Payne, The Wanderess

“Manic-depression distorts moods and thoughts, incites dreadful behaviors, destroys the basis of rational thought, and too often erodes the desire and will to live. It is an illness that is biological in its origins, yet one that feels psychological in the experience of it, an illness that is unique in conferring advantage and pleasure, yet one that brings in its wake almost unendurable suffering and, not infrequently, suicide.”

— Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

“Compared to bipolar’s magic, reality seems a raw deal. It’s not just the boredom that makes recovery so difficult, it’s the slow dawning pain that comes with sanity - the realization of illnesss, the humiliating scenes, the blown money and friendships and confidence. Depression seems almost inevitable. The pendulum swings back from transcendence in shards, a bloody, dangerous mess. Crazy high is better than crazy low. So we gamble, dump the pills, and stick it to the control freaks and doctors. They don’t understand, we say. They just don’t get it. They’ll never be artists.”

— David Lovelace, Scattershot: My Bipolar Family

“I know the empathy borne of despair; I know the fluidity of thought, the expansive, even beautiful, mind that hypomania brings, and I know this is quicksilver and precious and often it’s poison. There has always existed a sort of psychic butcher who works the scales of transcendence, who weighs out the bloody cost of true art.”

— David Lovelace, Scattershot: My Bipolar Family

“I mean, that’s at least in part why I ingested chemical waste - it was a kind of desire to abbreviate myself. To present the CliffNotes of the emotional me, as opposed to the twelve-column read.

I used to refer to my drug use as putting the monster in the box. I wanted to be less, so I took more - simple as that. Anyway, I eventually decided that the reason Dr. Stone had told me I was hypomanic was that he wanted to put me on medication instead of actually treating me. So I did the only rational thing I could do in the face of such as insult - I stopped talking to Stone, flew back to New York, and married Paul Simon a week later.”

— Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking

“Though I am often in the depths of misery, there is still calmness, pure harmony and music inside me. I see paintings or drawings in the poorest cottages, in the dirtiest corners. And my mind is driven towards these things with an irresistible momentum.”

— Vincent van Gogh

The symptoms that go along with bipolar disorder can make it a very difficult illness to cope with. Not only can it be challenging for individuals, but for their loved ones as well. If you feel as if you may be experiencing symptoms, know that you are not alone and that help is out there. If you’re looking for ways to find a psychologist in your local area, check out my blog post on How to Find the Right Psychologist For You.

---

bipolar treatment and management in mclean, falls church, arlington and vienna

Victoria Chialy Smith, PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist providing individual therapy to children, teens, and adults. Our practice provides Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness based therapies, and other premier evidence-based treatments, and serves the Falls Church, McLean, Great Falls, Vienna, Arlington, Alexandria, and the greater Washington DC region. Call, email, or schedule an appointment with us online today. We’re happy to help!

---